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Saturday, May 28, 2016

Closet and it's skeletons ...

Her hands are wet, Not good ... For me ... Clumsy ... It can slippppppp !!!

The ugly looking lizard was completely still on the door as if it was bolted to it . It was looking straight ahead into infinity and didn't seem to move at all. As good as dead to me . The plants looked as if they have not been watered since ages , the withered remains of the dense network of branches and the dropped yellow leaves hinted of a promising lush green past . Neglect does that to things, be it plants or relationships !
Interesting view, windows are mostly draped I can see through a narrow slit between two curtains. The living room is visible, some part of the dining as well , there is a candle on the dining table , a red candle. It's almost noon but the whole house is submerged into total darkness. It's not a power outage ! I can see movement , What is that ??? I can see her sitting on a chair facing the candle . She is in a red colored gown, her shoulder length hair are all over the place , total mess , weary eyes, dark under eye circles suggest sleepless nights ( doing what ? I wonder )  I can see other things on the table , a knife,  a lemon , somebody's framed picture . Why is the lemon red ??? Is it her blood ? I felt my pulse rising , Transfixed ... I lost her ! She was looking at the picture now she is gone ... Where is she ... She suddenly appears between the curtains , She is at the window I think she saw me  !!!! I hear the door being cranked open in a hurry ...... Shucks am I made out ?

Wind ... A strong one ..... Push ... And Off .... Again ..

Am i thankful or not ... I almost had a heart attack ,
This one has some undraped windows , even the door is ajar . Brightly lit rooms. I can see a woman, nice to see some real people who don't look crazy. She is dressed nicely , She keeps checking herself in the mirror .Looks like she just got ready to go somewhere ... Or may be someone is visiting ? Seems like a house of a young couple . I see some pictures of the married couple by the corner table .Nice looking couple .There are fresh flowers on the table . The door bell rings, she seems excited and anxious .More excited than anxious is what I read . On the way to the door she passes the full length mirror , pauses , takes one final look at herself, a seductive smile , she is pleased with herself ! She is beautiful indeed. She reaches for the door . Some one comes in I cannot see who ... A small joyful shriek from the woman . Looks like he got her flowers , I hear her swooning , I can see a warm embrace , getting warmer , She has her arms around his shoulders , his on her waist .. Snuggling ... The embrace is growing into a right hug by the second ... He swings her, as she swivels on her heels , she closes the door behind them without taking her eyes off him . The bouquet falls off her hand, they don't bother to pick it up either . I finally get to see the lucky man . Wait it minute !! He is not the same man as her husband ! The man in the house is not the same as the one in the picture on the corner table .

"What took you so lonnnng ?" Smiled and complained the woman.
"I am sorry, you know how she is, always nagging and started a fight over spilled milk in the morning , it's with great difficulty that I managed to calm her down. She was after my poor mothers life !"

"I hate her !"

"I hate her too !"

"A man like you deserves better ! ... Forget her now that you are here honey .. I love this blue shirt by the way ! So happy to see you like the shirts I pick out for you ..."

"I love your ......"

The words died as they moved into the bedroom.  I cannot see them anymore nor can I hear anything . People and their emotional , physical needs .

Hey little bird ! What do you want ? Hey ! Stop hopping around ... Don't come close .. Hey ... Here I go again :( !!! What a day ...

There is a wind chime at the door , it is not alone , it has gush of wind to keep company . The round wooden disks held by the tattered threads are rocking in the wind but are not rocking enough to make contact with the metal cylinders in the chime ... There is movement but no sound , like there is "life" but it's not "Alive" ! The curtains are open and so is the door , a rocking chair is kept outside along with some young child's toys . I can see the living room , an old woman  , must be in 70s , walks in slowly . She carries a sad face . Her dress hints at her being a widow. She pulls herself a chair and is about to slump on it , when another woman barges in shouting at top of her voice .

"What the hell is happening ? Where do you think you are going ? The dishes are yet to be cleaned ? "

"I am just trying to have my medicines, also I had ironed the white shirt, what did my son wear to office today ?" Said the old woman in a low voice .

"Now I keep track if what your son wears ! Don't I have better things in life ? I think I saw him go out in the blue shirt... Which I don't even know when did he buy !!"

Harassed mother in law and a nagging wife , no wonder he is finding solace in someone else's arms . The toddler came crawling to find his toys ...

Hey stay away I am not your toy , you will not be able to handle me ... Stay awayyyyy
Here I go again ....

The scene here is very somber , people are weeping and are huddled together. There are some women who are inconsolable . There are medics around , an ambulance but it seems it's not going anywhere . Who ever it was it's too late for him it seems . People are talking , the man who has passed away was a  big business man he also used to regularly operate a pawn shop. Seems many people owed money to him . There is his immediately family . I can see a very young child and a young wife too. Too bad I feel ...
I haven't seen his face yet, people are saying it was a sudden heart attack . I am outside and right now in a total mess in household dirt and body hair , it seems the toddlers hairs in which I am intertwined . I mange to take a look at the man when he is being brought out. To my horror it's the same man who's photograph I saw on the red woman's table . A chill runs up my spine a I look upwards ... I can see the same woman , her black silhouette with messy hair dangling below . She was looking straight at me . I started getting nervous . Suddenly she shouts out to a boy standing near by.

"Hey kid ! Can you pick that up ? It's mine I dropped it "

I don't want to get in her hands ! Scared .. I cannot even run away .. The kid picks me up and as he starts to move toward the stairs . His friends run Into him with their cycles . Whamm... He slips falls and drops me .. Forgets about me and runs after his friends shrieking and making sounds ..

"Hey Kid !!" shouted the woman from above ...

But he didn't listen and ran away, narrow escape I felt . Time went by I was left unnoticed . As I was thinking about the days events I thanked my stars and wondered about the lives I saw today . Did the crazy woman owed money to this business man ? What had she pawned for her loan ? Suddenly a young boy stopped and picked me up. Worried I was if he was the same kid but he wasn't . While in his pocket I don't realise where he is going .. Some turns some stairs some door bells I hear . I am
taken out and placed on a table . I am still not clean ... But nonetheless I cannot have a worse day than I already had . As I said that to myself .. I noticed the table I was at ... I see the familiar red candle, and the dark room...... My heart sank and then I felt my heart racing . I felt someone standing behind me , and then as if I stopped breathing .. The same red dressed woman was standing , sporting a  wry smile . She reaches out to me and pulls out the hair strand of the young toddler whose father passed away in the morning .. This witch had a son ! And of all the people I had to be picked up by him !

I am just a big red clothesline clip which couldn't hold on to the wire where I belonged !

Friday, May 20, 2016

The Observer


The funny thing about air is, if you don't have enough of it , you can be dead in seconds and if you are caught in a strong wind of Force 10 63 mph , the likes of which is happening right now outside, you can very well be flung several feet in the air. However it's not just windy it's snowing too, the wind is whistling around me, as if asking me to step aside. I see few shadows in an other wise whiteout landscape. The shadows are growing bigger and are moving faster ... RAMMMMM !!! I am flung aside , bunch of people are running....


They say I am built strong but I always feel vulnerable . However I am used to being startled like this, this doesn't bother me as much as the other aspect ....
The nature of my job makes me go through multitude of emotions daily, I feel at times it will eventually take a toll on me. The other night this couple and it's family came rushing,the wife couldn't make the distance she stayed with me, I could see her anguish while she rested her hands on me. I could feel the streams of her tears which were as incessant as her wailing , a few more minutes and she slumped near me. It really breaks my heart as her husband was wheeled away , I don't think he would make it ....

They say I am very transparent in my way of working, even my personality, what is in me one can easily make out. I don't hide things like other people, the other day some one rushed in and ran into me with a chair. I was shaken, It had been some time that i got into any minor hustle .Doctor said i developed some cracks but I will be OK . I was reassured and was back at work.

Given my working timings I don't get to see many people. You can say my love life is almost nothing . However when given a chance I see "Mary" . She is a woman of few words .She never introduced herself ,but I made out her name from her name tag :) I never brought it up and we are you know :) connected. Have mutual understanding .We don't need many words to express how we feel . Mary takes care of me , she pampers me , makes me listen to her sweet whistles when she is .... She is close to me ... :) . I like her hands , they are rugged because she works hard but they feel nice .She is a real woman :)

Over the years I have seen thousands of people . There was an old couple once must be in their 70s husband and wife both exasperated . They had their only daughter a few feet away from them and was in a dire state . She had difficulty in breathin, i did what I do usually I am best in giving protection and support . The mother was inconsolable while the father was trying to put up a brave front. That's what you expect men to do eh ? Be strong  ? Or Atleast look strong ? I felt the hand of a little child not more than 3 yrs old . It was a girl , It was her mom who was inside battling life .The warm hand made me shrivel with pain . Those hands had just wiped dollops of tears off those cherubic cheeks , she was upset because since morning her mama has not spoken to her . The crying was down to paused hic cups ,after effects of crying too hard for too long .My heart went out for this little one and her grandparents .For some reason I didn't see her husband or in laws . Is she a single parent ? Hmmmmmm . I really wished her good health.

When people are not around I enjoy the green trees which are close to my working place . Some times some nice souls sit by me have their coffee and read their favorite books .. At times i try to take a peak in to what they are reading :) ... Remember my small accident ... They say those cracks gave me a new perspective or as i like to put it .. It gives me a character .. Like a nicely done tatto adds to some ones character .. These marks were mine to show off :)

One night .... It was a fateful night atleast for me ... An over zealous driver came too fast and too close by the time brakes would have been applied the front had almost ran through me ...when i think back I am surprised how I managed to survive .. I suffered major injuries but was still able to stand .... like they said I was built strong ! ... However It was decided that it's not safe for me here any more .... I had to lose some part of my body during the operation and transfer .... Because some damage couldn't be recovered ....

I was relocated .. At times you may feel , gross injustice has been handed out to you ... What you should keep in mind is that you cannot fathom the repercussions of any event completely ... Things pan out in time ... And some point in time you even tend to thank your stars coz had it not been for that unpleasant choice you would not have been doing something different and even enjoying it ........ Had it not been for that accident I would not have seen such happy times ..... Tiny tots laugh giggle and jump around all day ... I see their wards with smiling faces ...

The funny thing about air is .... It looks great when it's inside a balloon and it looks even better when you blow up soap bubbles ....

I don't protect the emergency doors any more .... This glass door now keeps the kids safe in the attendants waiting lounge :) I observe them while they are at their happiest .....

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Deafening Silence

It seemed to be a quite day , not unusual for this part of Moscow , it has just rained , and it's still overcast ..... It's kind of appalling or god has just cast a sad spell .....a Very ...... Very sad spell .. there are very few vehicles on the junction .. As one walks by ... one can see the reflection of the dark clouds on the tall glasses of the pre revolutionary buildings ...... Perched nonchalantly on the sill of a closed window , a small magpie ... hops along the length of the ledge as if trying to escape the growing dark clouds appearing on the reflecting surface of the window ..magpies last hop takes her over the ledge she escaped the dark shadows much like what some humans resort to , but unlike the magpie they don't take the safe haven flight .... Hmmm ... Down at the street the wrinkles on the road have started to give away the city's age .... The undulating surface had created small pools of water close to the pavement ....  Egnor was standing close to such a pool looking at his own face .... Disheveled hair ... A weary face carrying a stubble , Hands in pocket .... Looking down as if that pool of water was the deepest lake in the world and those eyes were trying to find some unknown meaning in that water ....

Egnors trance is broken as the tranquility of the pool is disturbed by splashes of water .... His face dissolves into the buildings behind him  ... As he watches the city bus's front left tyre roar into the bus stop .... The hydraulic breaks screeching bringing down the diesel beast to a crawling halt ...the engine still humming eggs Egnor to move ... He stumbles along and reaches out to board the bus ...

There are not many souls on the bus ... Infact there are only six people .. Egnor takes the seat right in the front and glances back .... There was a Middle Aged woman dressed in smart casuals , her reading glasses gave her a studious look .. Another guy with his hood and ear plugs had his head down and was rhythmically gyrating to the unknown sound from his music player ..... The only thing significant about this bus was the unremarkable last seat which hosted three teens ... All three teenagers were exceptionally beautiful .. Perhaps stunning was the right word and three of them were engaged in such a boisterous conversation that they were totally oblivious of the world around them ....

The bus had started rolling forward all egnor was able to make out the girls were very excited ...... He could just see them but couldn't hear as they were far back .. Egnor for some reason couldn't take his eyes off the girls ... he turned around ... Put his right arm over his seat and nestled his chin close to his elbow and looked dead straight ..... The girls were immaculately dressed , they belonged to a school as was evident by their crisp blue  and white uniforms .... Two of them were blondes and one had auburn hair ... They were throwing their hands in the air ... like crazy and were anxiously looking at each other's faces as if they were trying to reach ahead of each other's thoughts and anticipate what one was about to say ..... So much happiness so much joy so much exuberance so much ....... Life .... Their conversation was like a lone lamp with a withering wick bearing the burden of hope in an otherwise stormy dark gloomy night ....

Egnor couldn't bear so much joy ... It has been two days that he spent pacing up and down the corridor of Emergency at the General Medical Hospital .... He didn't sleep , barely eaten anything for last two days ...... His wife left him 10 yrs ago , he was away to pick up their daughter from the play school ... 3 yr old Tyra was clinging on to his fathers little finger and was hopping back to home ... She always liked "hopping" as she felt she was a kangaroo :) .... Egnor and Tyra were welcomed by a pink note on the main door ..... "I am sorry" was all the was scribbled in a hurry ..... That morning was the last time Egnor saw his wife ....

A single parent and as a father Egnor had raised her daughter with lot of love .... Two days back 13 yr old Tyra met with an accident ... She was crossing a street when an over zealous teen overlooked her and rammed her coupe into her .... A teenager was behind the wheel infact the two girls were high they shouldn't have been in that car in that stage .... Infact Tyra shouldn't have been on that street at that hour ... She was walking back from the public library that evening ... Tyra was an avid reader when Egnor found her back in the hospital her belongings had a bookmarked "Saving Zasha" .. Will she be able finish that book ? Wondered Egnor ... It has been two days that Tyra is in coma along with Tyra, Egnors life also seem to have come to a pause ..... So many could haves , should haves , would she , if only's ....

The gargantuan diesel machine met with a speed bump which jolted Egnor back from the flashback .... These three girls with their exuberance were at total contrast to what Egnor was feeling ....and Egnor was now getting miffed ... His stressed red eyes squinted a bit ...he gripped the seat handle a bit tighter .. A frown started to develop ... "What are these girls talking about ehh ..... Boys ? .... My boyfriend is an  all star athlete ? What's your into ? Prom Night ? What will you be wearing ? What where and who did they party with last weekend ?" What is it that's so exciting ? Why are you so happy ? Why are you smiling and laughing ... When I am NOT ?? When my Tyra is not .... !!!

His eyes swelled up a little ..... The bus was grinding to another halt .. He got up before it could stop .. Stumbling to hold on .. Egnor fell down the bag in which he was carrying Tyra's belongings fell open ... "Saving Zasha" slipped out and bounced open .. The bookmark flew out as if it had its own wings ... Egnor watched that bookmark fly with that he felt his hopes sinking .... The bookmark fell in the laps of that studious looking lady ... Egnor got up ran after it and reached her ... She smiled and asked are you Ok ? Handing him back the bookmark .... Egnor took the bookmark startled by the fall and still was in agony over the thoughts of those happy girls and their discussions ... The bus had halted ... And people started to disembark .. He saw the three girls also still giggling and walking down to get off the bus ... When the three were down the studious looking lady followed them and stood close to them ... Egnor realized she was with the girls .... Putting his bag back on his shoulder and book and bookmark still in his hand ... He approached her ... "Excuse me are you with these girls ... I am sorry but I couldn't help notice the energy levels and excitement of the kids what are they talking about ? " ..... "Talking ??" The lady was surprised as she took a look at the pretty girls and back at Egnor ... "My dear , these lovely girls .. unfortunately are deaf and mute .. They belong to an orphanage and today is the first day that they have been given a chance to participate for "Talkable" , a technology which  allows not just the hand gestures to be translated but the sensor close to their throats estimates the vocal cord movement to guess the words .... they are practically hearing each other for the first time ..."

The girls just stood there and smiled at their teacher and the stranger ... The stranger just managed a wry smile and a wave of hand .... Trying to say hi .... The magpie seemed mto have followed Egnor and the bus round the block ... The chirpy bird quietly settles near Egnor .... His phone rings..... It's from general medical .... He listens to the call ... Puts the phone down .... Opens Tyra's book and places the bookmark on the first page ..... The magpie starts chirping again and flies back to another ledge .... Eagerly waiting for the dark clouds to give way to a ray of sun .....


Notes

Apart from a bird , a magpie is also used for an incessantly talkative person; noisy chatterer; chatterbox.

Pre revolutionary buildings in Moscow had tall imposing facades with big glass windows .

Saving Zasha is a popular teen novel in Russia

Talkable is currently available under different names but still is at a crude development level .